32 ενδείξεις ότι σε απατά

1. Σε προσέχει περισσότερο από πριν. Αυτό οφείλεται στις ενοχές που νιώθει στα πρώτα στάδια της παράλληλης σχέσης. Το ενδιαφέρον για σένα θα μειωθεί πάλι όσο προχωράει η παράλληλη σχέση.

2. Σου κάνει δώρα. Πολλά δώρα. Είναι “δώρα ενοχής” αγορασμένα γιατί νιώθει άσχημα που σε προδίδει, και προσπαθεί να νιώσει καλύτερα.

3. Έχεις την αίσθηση ότι κάτι δεν πάει καλά. Δώσε βάση στο ένστικτό σου. Αν το αγνοείς σημαίνει ότι θέλεις να κρύψεις απ’ τον εαυτό σου την αλήθεια. Ξέρεις τις συνήθειες και τη συμπεριφορά του συντρόφου σου καλύτερα απ’ τον καθένα, άρα μην παραγνωρίζεις την όποια αλλαγή.

4. Έχει απλωμένο το ζωνάρι για καυγά. Αυτό του δίνει την ευκαιρία να φεύγει έξαλλος απ’ το σπίτι, και να συναντάει την ερωμένη του. Ή μπορεί να νιώθει ανάμεικτα συναισθήματα για την απιστία κι αυτό να τον κάνει πιο ευερέθιστο.

5. Μιλάει συνέχεια για χωρισμό κατά τη διάρκεια του καυγά. Αναρωτιέται τι θα κάνεις αν χωρίσετε, ή σε διαβεβαιώνει ότι θα σ’ αγαπάει πάντα ακόμη κι αν χωρίσετε. Γενικώς δείχνει αρνητικός για τη σχέση. Κάνει αυτές τις σκέψεις γιατί ο ίδιος έχει ήδη ένα αποκούμπι. Αν επαναλαμβάνει συχνά τέτοιες δηλώσεις, πρόσεχε!

6. Έχει γίνει κυκλοθυμικός. Είναι ανεβασμένος όταν πρόκειται να φύγει από κοντά σου, αλλά κατεβάζει μούτρα όταν βρίσκεστε μαζί. Αν ο σύντροφός σου είναι σε μια μακρόχρονη παράλληλη σχέση, θα προσπαθήσει να κρατήσει και τις δύο σχέσεις σε χαμηλούς τόνους. Ότι πρόβλημα αντιμετωπίζει στη μία σχέση θα εκδηλωθεί και στην άλλη. Αυτό είναι αναπόφευκτο.

7. Δεν μιλάτε πια. Ζείτε μαζί σαν ξένοι. Έχει γίνει ψυχρός και αδιάφορος για τα συναισθήματα σου.

8. Αλλάζει μουσικές προτιμήσεις. Αν και άκουγε πάντα ελληνικά, ξαφνικά του αρέσει η τζαζ. Προφανώς επηρεάζεται από το γούστο της ερωμένης του που ακούει συχνά το νέο είδος μουσικής.

9. Έχει χαμηλή αυτοεκτίμηση. Αυτό δεν σημαίνει απαραίτητα ότι θα σ’ απατήσει, αλλά τα ανασφαλή άτομα ψάχνουν συχνά για καθοδήγηση στους άλλους. Αν οι ανάγκες  του δεν ικανοποιούνται, μπορεί να βρει την απαραίτητη γι’ αυτόν σιγουριά και θετική ανταπόκριση σε μια άλλη σχέση.

10. Κριτικάρει συνέχεια μια συγκεκριμένη γυναίκα. Προσπαθεί να σου ρίξει στάχτη στα μάτια ότι δεν ενδιαφέρεται γι’ αυτή, ενώ υπάρχει ήδη κρυφή έλξη μεταξύ τους.

11. Σε σχολιάζει αρνητικά για πράγματα που του άρεσαν στο παρελθόν.

12. Ενοχλείται με το παραμικρό σου σχόλιο για τον ίδιο.

13. Αδιαφορεί για σένα, για τα παιδιά σας και την καθημερινή σας ζωή.

14. Κλείνει τις πόρτες όταν είσαι κοντά, ενώ παλιότερα τις άφηνε ανοιχτές. Ο κανόνας της πόρτα του μπάνιου είναι χαρακτηριστικός: πολλές φορές τα ζευγάρια σε μακρόχρονες σχέσεις συνηθίζουν ν’ αφήνουν ανοιχτή την πόρτα όταν χρησιμοποιούν το μπάνιο, ακόμη κι όταν ο σύντροφός τους είναι στο σπίτι. Όταν δημιουργούνται παράλληλες σχέσεις, οι άπιστοι κλείνουν την πόρτα του μπάνιου, ως ασυνείδητη ένδειξη συναισθηματικής και σωματικής απομάκρυνσης.

15. Δεν σου κάνει πια κομπλιμέντα για την εμφάνισή σου.

16. Δεν σου λέει πια “σ’ αγαπώ”.

17. Φέρεται ένοχα όταν του φέρεσαι γλυκά. Υποτίθεται ότι είσαι εκείνη που του κάνει τη ζωή δύσκολη και τη σχέση σας ανυπόφορη. Κάνοντας κάτι καλό, τον αναγκάζεις να σκεφτεί τι κάνει.

18. Σε κατηγορεί για απιστία χωρίς κανένα λόγο και χωρίς αποδείξεις.

19. Προτιμά να περνάει την ώρα του με φίλους παρά μαζί σου.

20. Δεν τον ενδιαφέρει καθόλου το μέλλον της σχέσης σας.

21. Δεν σου δείχνει τρυφερότητα πια.

22. Το ενδιαφέρει περισσότερο να δει τηλεόραση ή να διαβάσει εφημερίδα απ’ το να κουβεντιάσετε ή να κάνετε έρωτα.

23. Μιλάει συχνά για τα προβλήματα κάποιας φίλης, γειτόνισσας, γυναίκας συναδέλφου, καθηγήτριας, ή συμμαθήτριας.

24. Χρησιμοποιεί καινούργιες εκφράσεις της μόδας, ή λέει αστεία και εκφράζει απόψεις ασυνήθιστες γι’ αυτόν.

25. Δίνει λιγότερη σημασία στα παιδιά σας. Εκείνα φαίνεται να νιώθουν ότι κάτι πάει στραβά και δεν φαίνονται το ίδιο τόσο συναισθηματικά υγιή και ασφαλή όπως παλιά.

26. Έχει γίνει συναισθηματικά απόμακρος, αλλά όταν το θίξεις, δεν θέλει να το συζητήσει και γίνεται κρυψίνους.

27. Σου φαίνεται αδιάφορος και αφηρημένος την ώρα του σεξ.

28. Όταν μιλάει στον ύπνο του αναφέρει συχνά ένα συγκεκριμένο γυναικείο όνομα.

29. Φαίνεται ξαφνιασμένος όταν ξυπνάει το πρωί. Πιθανόν να μην είναι σίγουρος σε ποια κρεβατοκάμαρα βρίσκεται.

30. Οι φίλοι σου έχουν αρχίσει να σε ρωτάνε τι συμβαίνει. Συχνά, οι κολλητοί κι η οικογένειά σου παρατηρούν την ένταση και την ασυμφωνία που υπάρχει μεταξύ σας πριν προλάβεις να το συνειδητοποιήσεις η ίδια.

31. Τσαντίζεται αμέσως, δήθεν ότι του κάνεις έλεγχο, ακόμη και με απλές ερωτήσεις για το πρόγραμμά του.

32. Έχει αλλάξει συνήθεις στον ύπνο, φαίνεται εξαντλημένος, ανήσυχος, έχει εφιάλτες ή αρχίζει να παραμιλάει στον ύπνο του.

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